James Bond...The best & worst of - part 3

So Roger Moore finished his run in 1985 (2 films too long as previously discussed) and the search for a new actor to play James Bond was on. Originally, the producers wanted Pierce Brosnan for the role but Pierce was contractually bound to Remington Steele and NBC wasn;t going to let him do it. That led to Shakespearean trained actor TImothy Dalton. Dalton actually on a short list when they were looking for Connery's replacement but Dalton bowed out because at 22 he felt he was too young.

Dalton's contributions to the 007 franchise were The Living Daylights (1987) and License To Kill (1989). I recently watched Daylights again (I can not recall ever viewing it when it came on tv) and it was a lousy movie. Maybe not as terrible as A View To A Kill but lousy enough. The plot tries to be complex but the cast doesn't seem to either be able to or want to pull it off. The female lead is played by Maryam d'Abo, not to be confused with the more talented Olivia d'Abo. Maryam is about as annoying as you can get and I don't want to say that she's untalented (47 acting credits from 1983-2011) but it sure looks that way here as this was her first big studio picture. Dalton didn't fare much better. There are times when he's got that edge then they are times when he gets almost whiney. It didn't help that the writing was not that great either. The plot has its moments but they are few and far between, at least it wasn't the standard megamaniacal billionaire industrialist who wanted to destroy large portions of humanity.

License To Kill sees Bond quit MI6 to avenge to attack on his old CIA pal, Felix Leiter. He goes after a drug lord and leaves a trail of bodies in the wake. This should have been a good film. Bond is out on the edge bent on taking down an international drug lord, sounds good right? You'd think so but things just don't work out they way they should. Dalton is never really quite on the edge as you'd like him (in both of his films he just seems rushed to me) even when guys die a gruesome death (that one guy whose head explodes when it appears that he betrayed the drug lord thanks to Bond). The entire tractor trailer chase seen is so ridiculous it almost destroys the movie (I will say it hear now now that as Class A driver, it's never a good idea to have a tractor trailer chase scenes in a movie). This was the best of the two Dalton/Bond films but that's not saying much. It's the least forgettable of the two, that's better. Though a very young Benicio Del Toro has a cameo as henchman to the drug lord.

So it appears that Dalton was a failure but I don't think that anyone could've have saved those 2 films. Dalton then gets dropped (or quits) and Pierce Brosnan is able to take the role of 007 in 1995 after 6 years with no James Bond. Here's Brosnon's list of films:

• Goldeneye (1995)
• Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
• The World Is Not Enough (1999)
• Die Another Day (2002)

Pierce Brosnan did a really good job as James Bond. He brings the edge that Connery had as well as the debonair and charm that Moore brought to the character.  The Brosnan films were not nearly as campy as the Moore films but there are elements of the megamaniacal billionaire industrialist villain:

• Johnathan Pryce (Tomorrow Never Dies): He's a billionaire media mogul who wants to encite a war between China & Britain so he can get the exclusive rights.
• Sophie Marceau  (The World Is Not Enough): Her character's father (whom she has killed)  is a billionaire industrialist but she uses her fortune to help an international terrorist cause nuclear mayhem.
• Toby Stephens (Die Another Day): This guy is a billionaire industrialist (who was originally North Korean but had radical plastic surgery to become Caucasian) who is going to unite the Korea's under the communist yoke by killing several hundreds of  thousands (at least) Koreans in the process.

 All four of Brosnan's Bond films contain great plot elements but there's so much over the top stuff that it takes away from the plot. For some reason the filmmakers opted to throw in semi-ridiculous stunts and giant explosions that were just too much. Here are my rankings of Brosnan and Dalton's Bond films:

1. Tomorrow Never Dies: This gets the nod because I loved the teaming of Brosnan and Michelle Yeoh (from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon fame, an excellent film). Yeoh does a lot (if not all) of her own stunt work so a lot of the physical work is very believable.
2. Goldeneye: Judi Dench is the new "M" and now that the Cold War is over, things are different. She feels that Bond is a relic of the Cold War and doesn't care for his methods (she lets him know this in no uncertain terms). I didn't care much for the technical aspect of the film (the Goldeneye is a satellite that can do nasty things) and one of the main villains is a renegade Soviet general much like the villain from Octopussy.
3. Die Another Day: Big fan of Bond getting caught and disavowed (who saw that coming?!) then getting exchanged for a North Korean spy. Bond breaks out of quarantine in the Falkland Islands and sets out to find out the culprit who set him up. Eventually it all breaks down as the plot twists seem implausible and are just too ridiculous.
4. License To Kill (see above)
5. The World Is Not Enough: I just didn't like this film. Denise Richardson a nuclear physicist? Really?
6. The Living Daylights: I mentioned this film earlier and there's a scene where Dalton utters the films title in reference to taking a shot at Maryam d'Abo (that right there is a deal breaker).

 When Brosnan was nearly 50 after Die Another Day and whether he left on his own or was asked not to come was a good idea. He was too old.


Part 4 will deal with Daniel Craig and the final rankings. Thanks for your time.

Part 2: James Bond...The Best & Worst of

We left off the last post with Connery reprising the role of Bond in 1971's Diamonds Are Forever. As stated prior, Connery was losing the Bond edge in You only Live Twice & it was pretty gone by Diamonds.  Connery pretty much mailed in his last Bond performance (his last EON performance that is). Enter Roger Moore.

Moore had been briefly considered for the role of James Bond but producers went with Lazenby then went back to Connery. Moore had successful runs in several television series throughout the 60's. He got the job at the age of 45 and would make 7 Bond films from 1973-1985. Here they are:

• Live and Let Die (1973)
• Man With the Golden Gun (1974)
• The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
• Moonraker (1979)
• For Your Eyes Only (1981)
• Octopussy (1983)
• A View To A Kill (1985)

If Diamonds Are Forever was a little on the campy side, that would be prevalent throughout Moore's tenure as Bond. During this period Moore played Bond more as a charming, debonair playboy type than secret agent. Bond didn't have the edge he had in the early Connery roles (in Dr. No Connery guns down a villain in cold blood). The formula went a bit like this: Bond gets notified about mission whilst in the arms of whatever woman he's having sex with, Bond gets mission (which involves a trip to see Q at Special Branch for his gadgets), Bond proceeds to bed a woman who has information about the mission and discards her (or she's killed) when info is obtained, sometimes he gets involved with the evil henchwoman, he meets up with the female lead and after some banter & adventure he beds her as well and then he saves the world. There's a lot of champagne along the way and a fair amount of Bond's female conquests saying, "oh James!"

Live and Let Die was a pretty good film and it did well at the box office. Man With The Golden Gun would be Moore's lowest grossing Bond film and it showed. Christopher, who's usually an excellent villain, played Scaramanga (he has 3 nipples BTW) in a comical way (which would be a problem during this time) and had Herve Villachaize (Tattoo from Fantasy Island) as his butler, Nick Nack. Scaramanga had a deal with Nick Nack that if Nick Nack killed Scaramanga, Nick Nack would get all of Scaramanga's wealth. The weird premise about this film is that Scaramanga was this international assassin that everyone knows about, is so reclusive but manages to lead a lavish lifestyle that could have been featured on Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous!This just wasn't a good movie.

So far I'm going to give Moore a 1 for 2. His 3rd outing was The Spy Who Loved Me where he teams up with Soviet agent Triple X (who happens to be an uber-babe) played by Barbara Bach. In my opinion, Bach's hotness is only matched by her limited acting skills. In this film Moore actually gets the old Bond edge back because he seems really agitated about the villain's plans to set off a nuclear war and guns him down (only after Stromberg took a shot at Bond). Curt Jergens played Stromberg, a super wealthy industrialist who plans to obliterate life on Earth using American and Soviet ballistic missile submarines so that he and his new civilization can live out life underwater (this would mark the beginning of the demented wealthy industrialist looking to kill billions so he can start a new civilization phase). Stromberg isn't comical like Scaramanga but he kind dresses like a clown in an opera so it's hard to take him too seriously and he always seems to be at his giant dinner table. Spy is a fun movie to watch and despite Bach's lack of acting prowess, she has good chemistry with Moore. This film also introduced the audience to Jaws. A henchman for hire who kills his victims by ripping out their throats with his metal teeth. Jaws is kind of comic book like in a sense that he's indestructible (he gets dumped into a tank with a shark and it's Jaws that take a bite out of the shark - great scene!). All in all this is a good film and I watch it when it comes on TBS.

So now Moore has done 3 Bond films and 2 were good (since the franchise starting going in a different direction in 1971). Moore's 4th film was Moonraker. When I saw Moonraker as a 9 y/o, I thought it was really cool. As an adult it's a stupid film and that's being nice. After the huge success of Star Wars in 1977, producer Albert Broccoli wanted to use Bond to cash in on the it's coat tails. What you get is Moonraker, essentially a near re-make of the previous Bond film and here's why: Drax (the villain) is a wealthy industrialist who's secretly wreaking havoc with American space shuttle launches because he's a got a clandestine space station that he doesn't want discovered. Why does he have a clandestine space station discovered you ask? Well from there he will launch mutated flowers with spores that will annihilate the human race so he can repopulate the Earth with his chosen couples (who all just happen to be a bunch of extremely good looking men & women). Yes, he's going to commit genocide to save humanity from itself and start all over, a new Garden of Eden. Sounds a lot like Stromberg's plan but it's outer space instead of underwater.

For Your Eyes Only came out in 1982 and I remember I didn't think it was all that great as a kid but as an adult it's a really good film. There's no wealthy industrialist hellbent on destroying humanity or ridiculous henchmen it's almost a straight spy thriller. Bond investigates the sinking of a British warship and has to find a missing defense computer (or something, I don't know how to explain it) and finds that it coincides with a murder of marine archeologist working for the British Government. This was Moore's best Bond film and it probably should've been his last as he nearing 60 years old.

Moore's last 2 Bond film's were Octopussy and A View To A Kill. Both were bad films. Octopussy had some good moments that could've been salvaged but it's a bad film. Moore was clearly too old to play 007, it's a classic case of a star athlete who sticks around too long after his prime (Willie Mays comes to mind). It shows in these last 2 films although still charming and debonair,  he's clearly not doing his own stunts (it show's) and he's not in very good physical shape. As for A View To A Kill, it did give us Christopher Walken as Zorin,the villain. His goal was to flood Silicon Valley so that he could become the sole producer of microchips, kind of sounds similar to say Goldfinger? Goldfiner was going to detonate a dirty nuke at Fort Knox (thereby destroying the world's gold supply) so he can corner the market on gold and be it's only producer. See the parallels? Duran Duran did the them song to A View To  Kill and it's the only redeeming quality.

Here's how I would rank Moore's Bond films:

1. The Spy Who Loved Me
2. For Your Eyes Only: If this film was on a bit more often it might be #1.
3. Live and Let Die
4. Moonraker: It's got Jaws in it, Jaws beats Scaramanga any day.
5. Man With The Golden Gun
6. Octopussy
7. A View To A Kill

Remember, starting with Diamonds Are Forever, things started to go campy. Roger Moore did an excellent job of playing the Bond of this era. He wasn't asked to play Bond like Connery, times had changed. Of Connery's 6 turns as James Bond, 4 of the films were excellent and his last was garbage.

In part 3 I will go into the Dalton & Brosnon eras. Thanks for your time and as usual your comments and opinions are welcome & appreciated.

James Bond...The best & worst of - part 1

Skyfall, the 23rd James Bond film, is due to be released next year marking 50 years of 007. So it got me thinking about some of the best and worst moments of the franchise. This will be in a few parts as I will begin with the Sean Connery era and work my way through to Daniel Craig.

To start, there were 2 non-EON Bond productions, Casino Royale (1967) and Never Say Never Again (1983). Please don't confuse the 1967 version of Casino Royale with the nearly excellent 2006 version. Because it was a non-EON production (not to get to lenghty but basically it wasn't a Broccoli & Saltzman produced film) the film was made as a satire with a 57 y/o David Niven as James Bond. I saw this film nearly 30 years ago and was taken aback at how ridiculous it was and I've never gone back to give it another chance as an adult. Since it was filmed in 1967 there's a kind of trippy, psychedelic feel to it (which I may not have understood as a kid). Woody Allen has an appearance as Jimmy Bond, 007's nephew, who's also the bad guy. The film has an all-star cast but I doubt anyone took it seriously. Never Say Never Again was a remake of Thunderball starring Sean Connery and Kim Basinger. When I saw this in 1983 I thought it was kind of cool (not as good as Thunderball) but I came to find out later that since it was a non-EON production that's why they couldn't say certain lines are say the names of EON characters ("Q" was reffered to as Algernon for example). Though not a bad film it doesn't stand the test of time and Connery is pretty much there for the paycheck.

Suffice to say I will not count these films in the discussion to follow.

Sean Connery was the original James Bond (some say the best) and here are his films:

• Dr. No (1962)
• From Russia With Love (1963): Usually regarded as 1 of the 2 best Bond films ever.
• Goldfinger (1964): The second film regarded as one of the best.
• Thunderball (1965): My personal favorite, I love the underwater fight scene which won an Academy Award for SFX.
• You Only Live Twice (1967)
• Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

 The 1st 4 films have an average Rotten Tomatoes rating of 94.5%. Sure the SFX may not stand the test of time but the Connery is nothing less than awesome. SPECTRE and the other villains are great as well. Of course the "Bond Girls" are legendary. Ursula Andress as Honey Rider, Daniela Bianchi as Tatiana Romanova, the 3 girls of Goldfinger are worth mentioning; Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore, Shirley Eaton as Jill Masterton (she's the one who's murdered by being covered in gold paint) & Tania Mallet as Tilly Masterton (she tries to assassinate Goldfinger as revenge for killing her sister-Bond scores them both of course). In Thunderball, Claudine Auger played Domino Derval and Luciana Paluzzi played the evil Fiona Volpe.

Things start to turn south with You Only Live Twice. There are some good sequences but you can kind of see Connery start to lose interest in the character as he doesn't seem to have the same mean streak as he had in Dr. No through Thunderball. He seems more concerned about bedding the various women he's working with or against than anything else (except the mission of course). The 4 year gap is because Connery had had enough after You Only Live Twice, the next Bond Film, On Her Majesty's Secret Service in 1969 starring George Lazenby in the role of James Bond.

About Her Majesty's Secret Service, the movie itself isn't bad (probably better than You Only Live Twice), Diana Rigg (Mrs. Emma Peel from the tv series The Avengers) was great as the Countess Tracy Di Vicenzo and Telly Savalas was a competent Blofeld (certainly better than Donald Pleasence of You Only Live Twice). Which brings me to poor old George Lazenby. Lazenby, an Australian, was not the 1st choice to replace Connery but impressed the producers enough to get a 7 picture deal! However, Lazenby got his agent to reduce it to a one off as he felt that 007 wouldn't cut it in the 70's. The film did well at the box office but people didn't warm up to Lazenby (I'm going off of what I've read from Wikipedia and from talking to my parents & their friends about it since I was yet to be born in 1969). Connery was the original Bond & the franchise was very successful so it would have been difficult to replace him. I'd wager that it's an almost impossible situation (isn't there a saying that goes you don't want to be the guy that replaces a legend, you want to be the guy that replaces the guy that replaces the legend). This is also the film where Bond gets married but Tracy is killed by Blofeld after the ceremony in a drive by shooting. This would lead to Bond going back to treating women like disposable pleasures as he would never get too close to any woman again until the reboot in 2006.

Since Lazenby was only going to do the 1 film, the producers had to get someone else. Connery was not on speaking terms with Broccoli in 1967 but the producers were able to lure Connery back with a then whopping $1.25 million paycheck! That next film was Diamonds Are Forever (1971). Diamonds is by far the worst of the Connery Bond films. Connery clearly doesn't want to  be in this film (much like Mel Gibson in The Patriot) and has no edge to him at all, much like the entire film as a whole. In fact most of the characters were pretty bland as well. Jill St John's Tiffany Case, although beautiful is pretty much eye candy with no depth to the character and Charles Gray wasn't a very good Blofeld. This is the film where we start to see a comic aspect to the villain's henchmen, for this film those henchmen were Mr. Wint & Mr. Kidd.

Ranking Connery's Bond films is difficult because the 1st 4 are excellent and it comes down to personal preference but here it goes:

1. Thunderball: What can I say? I really like the underwater fight scene.
2. From Russia With Love: This is probably a lot of people's #1, the chase scenes after they jump off the train tend to drag out a bit for me.
3. Goldfinger: Again a lot of people may have this as their #1.
4. Dr. No
5. You Only Live Twice
6. Diamonds Are Forever

This wraps up the 1st ten years of Bond films. The 1st 4 Bond films brought us memorable characters such as; Odd Job, Goldfinger, Pussy Galore, Rosa Klebb and Red Grant (played by Robert Shaw who would be immortalized for his role as Quint in Jaws). After that, the characters, mostly the villains seems to be the point I'm making I guess, wouldn't be as memorable until Jaws. The next post will cover the Roger Moore years. Thank you for your time and as always your comments & opinions are welcome & appreciated.

Shale Gas Boom & other psuedo-related issues

I didn't know what shale gas was but apparently it's a form of natural gas and analysts expect that it could supply up to half of the shale gas in the U.S. by 2020. They say natural gas is cleaner form of fuel than oil or coal so it must be ok. However, I'm not writing this to debate clean fossil fuels (quite frankly I don't know enough about them). This entry will be more about the corporate greed that I'm sure will follow.

An article in the NY Times, http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/15/us/towns-fighting-to-stand-ground-against-gas-drillers.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&sq=pennsylvania%20shale%20gas&st=cse&scp=1, stated that companies are drilling in densely populated areas with little to no regard for zoning issues and all that other stuff. The towns & municipalities want zoning control over the land probably to make a few bucks and to make sure things are done safely. The energy companies and the Pennsylvania State Legislature want to restrict a communities control over the land. You can probably hear the lobbyists for the energy companies opening up their checkbooks to make campaign contributions to he people who run Pennsylvania in in return for favorable legislation that leaves communities in the drilling areas with little to no control over the area and out in the cold. Let us not forget that Pennsylvania tried to sell off PA Turnpike revenue a few years ago but the deal fell through, http://www.planetizen.com/node/22126. On a side note the City of Chicago successfully leased the parking meters (for 70 years!) to a foreign company in exchange for money (lots of it anyway) to cover a budget gap. Experts say that the city greatly undervalued the potential income and now the company that owns the rights can make up the rules as they go along, http://ohmygov.com/blogs/general_news/archive/2008/12/24/chicago-sells-right-to-city-parking-meters-for-1-2-billion.aspx. My other source of the Chicago parking meters was from Matt Taibbi's book Griftopia (a very good read by the way).

The energy companies will talk about how the plants and drilling will create jobs and bring in revenue to the communities because workers will need housing, construction jobs and the economic growth that follows these types of booms. Be advised, the recent discovery of oil in North Dakota will bring similar issues as well. There's no doubt that economic growth will be a beneficial side effect (and the U.S. needs it) but at what cost? Make no mistake, the energy companies DO NOT care about the community, the care about PROFITS! Much like Wall Street during the bursting of the housing bubble in 2008 (for info about that read Griftopia). Sure they'll put on a happy face, hire a big time PR firm to make commercials about what a community orientated company they are (much like to the BP ads that state how everything is fine in the Gulf..."what oil spill? Long term effects, get out of town! Things are great here!").

I do feel that the communities should have some say in this matter to keep everyone honest. There has to be a happy medium somewhere. Hopefully it won't follow the quick-fix trend (like the Chicago parking meters) and people will think about the long term effects. The shale isn't going anywhere, so can't a deal be made where everyone comes up a winner and is environmentally beneficial?

Be advised...I am not against shale gas drilling. America needs to end it's dependency on foreign oil so if it helps then let's get at it. What caught my eye was that Pennsylvania was looking to limit any say these communities had that were going to get these pants near them. Once again it would be a situation where the average person gets left out.

Thanks to all the soldiers who served in Iraq over the last 8 years and who sacrificed so much for their country. In fact, thanks to all the men & women who have served & are currently serving in the U.S. armed forces.

Breaker! Breaker!

Breaker! Breaker! is the title of a 1977 Chuck Norris film directed by Don Hulette. I just finished watching this film and to say the least it was heinous! But be advised...this film is groundbreaking in the sense that it clearly inspired the likes of Over the Top & Roadhouse, yet still manages to be terrible! This film is definitely MST3K material. Scene after scene I found myself either laughing or commenting on how ridiculous the scene was.

Norris (beardless btw) plays truck driver JD Dawes, who's such an awesome driver that when he pulls into a truck stop in the opening moments of the film, he doesn't need to drop his trailer in a spot (since I have a Class A CDL, I found that scene very amusing). Norris then sends his brother to pick up load for delivery as Chuck has business to tend to at the truck stop. That business is ARM WRESTLING! Didn't see that one coming did you? The cast of dudes playing the truck drivers is something to see. In fact it's almost as if Over the Top jacked the entire scene 10 years later. As Norris is winning the match his opponent punches him in the face. Bad move, when Norris comes face to face with the guy 30 seconds later, Chuck delivers a massive roundhouse kick to the dude's chest (the 1st of many roundhouses in the film).

While Chuck is having fun at the truck stop, his brother gets caught in a speed trap in a corrupt town (can ya see where it's all going yet?). I want to backtrack for a moment. This run is Billy's 1st solo run. Chuck manages to give him trucking advice like, don't let them overload the reefer & once loaded get the trailer weighed (Billy still manages to be overweight anyway). When Billy gets brought before the judge he looses his cool and gets hunted down. We don't see Billy until the end. Naturally when Billy doens't show up later JD starts to worry & finds out that Billy may have gone through Texas City (the corrupt town in California btw), a town where truckers dare not go.

This is where Chuck busts out his bitchin' Ford Van (complete with an airbrushed giant eagle design. It's a badass van!) to go find Billy. While searching for Billy, Norris manages to do the following:

• get pulled over & get his van impounded
• fight the 2 crooked cops (and win)
• fight his way out of the court house (he went in on his own)
• fight the townspeople (and win!)
• get his van back
• bed the corrupt Judge's daughter in law,(she's a widower, relax) in the van no less!
• recaptured by the bad guys

Then comes the climax! The Judge's daughter in law manages to get a hold a CB & call all the trucker to help rescue Chuck from execution (despite the fact that California stopped using the death penalty in 1972). The truckers come through and begin wreaking havoc. Norris makes his escape and finds his brother getting beat up by the corrupt deputy (the town's other corrupt cop Sgt Strode tried to put a road block to dissuade the truckers, didn't work). When Chuck sees the deputy beating up his defenseless brother, he lets out a scream, charges the cop & delivers a flying kick so devastating that the deputy goes through the barn! Norris manages this with a bullet wound to the abdomen (its a flesh wound as the bullet bounced off his rock hard abs, its Chuck Norris for crying out loud bullets don't stop him!).

With Billy safe, Chuck now has to take on the remaining corrupt cop. The final battle takes place in a stable where a horse is running about (I guess its symbolism but it went over my head). The bad guy is sitting on a fence waiting for the showdown and then he takes a few swigs of Wild Turkey?! Exactly what you want to do when facing Chuck Norris in the final battle (actually his fate was sealed when Norris came to town so why not have a few drinks I guess)! After Chuck wins the fight the last shot of the film is of the horse jumping over the fence. WTF!?!

I would like to add that for such a macho film, the scenes where Chuck 1st meets Billy & when he rescues him at the end have a few homosexual overtones. Not that there's anything wrong with that it's just weird & a bit humorous.

As bad as this film is (and it is BAD) it was a good laugh. I recommend my CDL co-workers to watch it whilst having a few cocktails of course. I just had to share this with other people that's why I wrote this. Thanks for your time.