The NBA on March 6th

This month, the NBA is honoring Hispanic Heritage. The New York Knicks become the Neuva York Knicks. The Heat and Suns become El Heat and Los Suns. I don’t doubt the integrity of the NBA but if their participation in something like this raises awareness for Hispanic Heritage while selling more merchandise then everyone wins.

In honoring Hispanic Heritage month, there was a lot of matador defense being played. Los Suns defeated the Thunder (who were not in Hispanic Heritage uniforms and I guess that’s why they lost) 128-122. Each team shot better than 50% from the field (.500 for the Thunder and .525 for Los Suns) but the key was 3point shooting. The Thunder was 13-33 from beyond the arc for 39%. This was actually better than their season average of 36%. Los Suns shot nearly 56% from three point range lighting up the Thunder to the tune of 15-27. Way to get a hand in their face guys!

This biggest defensive lapse of the night has to go the now hapless Los Angeles Lakers. The Lakers took on their crosstown rivals the Clippers in a home game at the Staples Center, an arena both teams share. That means all the Laker banners were in the rafters and Jack Nicholson was in the front row.

The Lakers were playing without Kobe and Steve Nash and were woefully undermanned against the much younger, much healthier Clippers. Here’s the box score from the game...

LA Clippers

PLAYERS
Players	Min	FG	3pt	FT	+/-	Off	Def	Reb	Ast	TO	Stl	Blk	BA	PF	Pts
Matt BarnesF	30:06	7-13	3-7	0-0	+43	2	10	12	5	1	3	0	0	2	17
Blake GriffinF	25:47	8-12	0-0	4-6	+34	2	9	11	7	5	2	0	0	3	20
DeAndre JordanC	22:02	6-9	0-0	2-4	+42	4	8	12	3	2	0	0	0	2	14
Darren CollisonG	29:33	9-16	1-3	5-5	+30	2	2	4	3	1	2	0	2	2	24
Chris PaulG	26:02	6-12	1-3	0-1	+36	1	3	4	11	3	4	1	0	1	13
Willie Green	27:34	3-9	1-3	2-2	+28	1	5	6	2	2	0	0	0	1	9
Hedo Turkoglu	22:13	3-6	3-5	0-0	+14	0	8	8	1	0	2	2	0	2	9
Glen Davis	18:32	5-7	0-0	0-0	+5	1	1	2	1	1	1	1	0	1	10
Danny Granger	17:54	4-8	0-2	2-2	+5	1	1	2	1	2	0	0	0	4	10
Reggie Bullock	12:51	4-7	3-3	0-0	+2	1	1	2	0	0	2	0	0	2	11
Ryan Hollins	7:26	2-4	0-0	1-2	+1	1	0	1	0	0	0	1	0	1	5
Jamal Crawford	DNP - Strained Left Calf.
Jared Dudley	DNP - Mid- Back Spasms.
J.J. Redick	DNP - Inactive
Totals		57-103	12-26	16-22		16	48	64	34	17	16	5	2	21	142
Percentages		55.3%	46.2%	72.7%		Team Rebounds: 7

LA Lakers

PLAYERS
Players	Min	FG	3pt	FT	+/-	Off	Def	Reb	Ast	TO	Stl	Blk	BA	PF	Pts
Kent BazemoreF	32:07	4-9	1-4	5-10	-29	1	1	2	6	5	1	1	1	3	14
Wesley JohnsonF	30:01	1-9	0-7	0-0	-40	1	3	4	1	2	4	1	0	4	2
Pau GasolC	25:13	8-15	0-0	5-6	-36	1	6	7	1	2	0	0	1	2	21
Jodie MeeksG	31:19	3-11	0-2	1-1	-45	0	0	0	1	1	0	0	0	1	7
Kendall MarshallG	23:41	3-8	1-4	0-0	-8	0	4	4	7	4	1	0	0	0	7
Robert Sacre	22:47	4-7	0-0	0-0	-12	1	2	3	1	2	0	0	1	2	8
Jordan Farmar	21:10	1-5	1-3	1-2	-39	0	0	0	3	3	0	0	0	2	4
Ryan Kelly	21:08	2-4	1-2	4-5	-10	0	6	6	0	0	1	0	1	0	9
Xavier Henry	19:19	5-10	3-3	2-2	-14	0	5	5	3	1	1	0	0	2	15
MarShon Brooks	13:15	3-8	1-5	0-0	-7	0	2	2	3	2	1	0	1	0	7
Jordan Hill	DNP - Sore Right Knee.
Chris Kaman	DNP - Coach's Decision
Nick Young	DNP - Sore Left Knee.
Kobe Bryant	DNP - Inactive
Steve Nash	DNP - Inactive
Totals		34-86	8-30	18-26		4	29	33	26	22	9	2	5	16	94
Percentages		39.5%	26.7%	69.2%		Team Rebounds: 8

They are few words that describe this kind of beat down on the NBA level. The Lakers were thoroughly dominated in every aspect of the game. Take a look at the shooting percentages, 55.3%, 46.2% and 72.7% for the Clippers while the Lakers managed 39.5%, 26.7% and 69.2%. The Clippers clobbered the Lakers on the boards, wiping the glass clean of 16 offensive rebounds to the Lakers 4 (DeAndre Jordan himself singlehandedly matched the Lakers in that regard). That led to a plus 31 rebounding margin! Did the Lakers play 5 on 4 again? To get pummeled that badly on the boards is just a lack of effort. The Clippers starting front line of Barnes, Griffin and Jordan combined for 35 rebounds, 2 more than the entire Laker team could manage.

It wasn’t anyone from the Clippers had a career performance either. Blake Griffin is averaging 24.1ppg on 16.9 shots/game. He only took 12 shots to get 20 points. Darren Collison led all scorers with 24 points on 16 shots. Collison averages 10.6 ppg on less than 8 shots/game. He just had a hot hand. Like everyone else on the Clippers. The Clippers had 8 players score in double figures including their entire starting five. The Lakers lone bright spot was Pau Gasol with 21 points and 7 rebounds. Other Gasol and Jordan Farmar, I don’t recognize any other name on the Laker roster that played in the game. 

There was a time when the Clippers were the laughing stock of Los Angeles Since moving to LA from San Diego for the 1984-85 season the Clippers have had only six winning seasons and they’re currently in their 3^rd straight winning season. Heck, the six seasons in San Diego produced 1 winning season (43-39 during the ’78-’79 campaign) and ZERO playoff appearances. So yeah, the west coast hasn’t been too kind to the Clippers. While the Clippers have been a punch line for the better part of the last 30 years, the Lakers have been to the NBA finals 12 times and have 7 championships.  Until recently, the Clippers haven’t been able to compete with the Lakers.

It was the worst defeat in the history of the Laker franchise. The sportstalk characters are calling for Laker coach Mike D'Antoni's head and they're saying that the franchise is going nowhere fast. Kobe is old and coming off another major injury. Steve Nash has had back problems since becoming a Laker and they keep trying to shop Gasol but no one is buying. At least they have a draft pick (unlike the Knicks). Right now, the Clippers are a fun team to watch and the Lakers are not. Here, watch some highlights...

Superhero films and where they're going, part 2

If there is one thing that DC Entertainment has got Marvel beat, it's that its got all of it's property under one roof. Warner Brothers has the exclusive rights to any and everything DC Comics. Marvel on the other hand looks this this...

Thanks to Stan Lee selling off just about everything in the 70s and 80's, Marvel characters are spread out over 5 studios. There is a bit of a crossover as the Scarlett Witch and her brother Quicksilver fall under the domain of Marvel Studios and 20th Century Fox. The pair will make an appearance in the end credit easter egg of Captain America: The Winter Soldier but the word "mutant" cannot be used in anything outside of Fox as they have exclusive rights to the word. Having five different studios control the characters is one of the main reasons why Marvel can churn out franchises at a machine gun pace.

Which brings us back to DC Entertainment. Batman is it's cash cow. Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight trilogy has grossed over $2.45 billion worldwide in box office receipts. That doesn't include DVD and merchandise purchases. Batman will most likely go on a bit of a hiatus until someone decides its time for a reboot. I'll compare that to the Iron Man franchise because they're both about a wealthy dude in a cool suit that fights crime and they take place over the same time period, 2005-12 for Batman and 2008-13 for Iron Man. Iron Man has grossed $2.42 billion worldwide at the box office (neither are adjusted for inflation). So they're pretty close. In 2006 Warner Brothers rebooted Superman and released Superman Returns to the tune of $391 million worldwide. Not bad right? Sure but the foreign gross was barely equal to the domestic gross (that matters a real lot to studios) and quite frankly the movie was bad. This prompted DC/Warner Bros. to re-reboot Superman in 2013 with Man of Steel and it grossed $668 million worldwide. It was a better film by far (it could have used another round in the editing room) but all of the four Spider-Man films released between 2002-13 grossed more than Man of Steel (even the much maligned Spider-Man 3 made $891 million worldwide and a lot of people hated it!).

Since it appears that the Superman ship has been righted, there is a sequel planned (what a surprise!). This time DC is going to hedge its bets by placing Batman in the film which is entitled, "Untitled Superman-Batman Project (pretty catchy right?)." Since Marvel's The Avengers grossed over $1.5 billion worldwide, DC needs to put is money makers together. As an added bonus, Wonder Woman will also be appearing. That is correct, DC's holy trinity in the same film! This will then lead into 2017's alleged Justice League film which David S. Goyer is under contract to write. The Justice League coming to the big screen has been brandied about the internet for years and with the other worldly box office success of The Avengers, DC has to do something and the terribleness of 2011's Green Lantern cannot deter them. There are an abundant amount of rumors as to who will round out the Justice League and who knows (it can still fall apart) but it should be interesting. Shoot I'll be pushing 50 by the time it comes out but I am so there for the opening.

Since the only thing the DC/Warner has in the chute for the near future, let's talk about Wonder Woman for a moment. One of the major issues bringing Wonder Woman to the big screen is that she's not that far removed from being a female version of Superman. Ability to fly, super strength, invulnerability and the tendency to use brawn first and brains second (both WW and Supes are intelligent but that can get in the way of punching things). So for now we will need to see what happens in smaller roles in male orientated films before she gets a chance at a stand alone film.

Israeli born actress Gal Cadot has been cast as the Amazon Princess...

Since she's Israeli, its a given that she can more handle the ass kicking part of the character. In 2011, ABC tried to bring Wonder Woman to television and the pilot was never aired. There's a lot of reasons I'm sure why it never got off the ground but quite frankly someone may have realized that it seemed very similar to NBC's the Bionic Woman which lasted for 8 underwhelming episodes in 2007 (the fact that the networks were trying to reboot long dead shows about with a super powered female lead makes me scratch my head. Not to mention a Charlie's Angels reboot in 2011 which lasted around 4 episodes). I also don't know what plans they had for the show but they could've taken the high road like they did with Smallville and Arrow by concentrating on character development. The WB aired Birds of Prey in 2002 but the ratings declined and the show was cancelled after 13 episodes. Which leads me to believe that a show about empowered female heroes doesn't translate well to the tv audience. It seems stupid but that's where we are at I guess which is too bad. The premise of Birds of Prey could easily work, it's a show about ass-kicking female vigilantes who are led by a wheelchair bound former ass-kicking vigilante who's an expert computer hacker. But what do I know? In the end I'm just a guy typing on his computer reposting pictures of Wonder Woman in a silly blog.

Adrianne Palicki from the 2011 pilot. Some people didn't like the pants. Is that really worth getting into a twist over?

The ass kicking badass from Cartoon Network's Justice League.

Lynda Carter from the series which ran for 60 episodes from 1975-79.

Then there's Cathy Lee Crosby in this little known gem from a 1974 made for tv film...

I saw this once as a kid and it was terrible. As an adult I can see why it was never picked up even by 1970's standards (it was a problem in the Marvel Universe as well). Quite frankly the outfit looks as if her next stop is the roller rink for some Roller Derby. Apparently there was a strange story arc in the comics that led to this hunk of turd.

The new rumor is that a Wonder Woman film is on life support. A lot will depend on what happens with the Batman/Superman film. We'll see what happens.

The Knicks and Melo, it keeps getting better.

It's real easy these days to take shots at the New York Knickerbockers and it won't be any different here. In fact its almost impossible not to bash the Knicks (like I kind of did back in November). Going into the All-Star break the Knicks are 20-32 (yet miraculously still in the playoff hunt), Mike Woodson's job is in jeopardy and the Melo rumors are heating up.

Recently, Syracuse head coach Jim Boeheim came out and said that Melo should leave the Knicks because its in the best interest of his legacy (of which he has none at the moment). Earlier in the season Melo mentioned that he was looking to opt-out of his gargantuan contract and test free agency. He quickly backtracked off the remarks but the damage was done. A few weeks ago his wife La La said in an interview that Melo was definitely staying in New York despite what a lot of writers (and his college coach) felt. It seems pretty clear that the Knicks (mainly owner James Dolan) and Melo are going to all go down together, seeing how the Knicks are a sinking ship. Everyone knows how badly the Knicks finances are screwed up and that there will be no relief in sight until after the 2015 season.

Over All-Star weekend, Melo was nice enough to tell reporters what it would take to return next season. Whether it be taking less money (which doesn't happen in the NBA) or jumping in the driver's seat with management to lay the groundwork for acquiring talent, Melo will be there to help. Is there anyone out there that thinks that will happen? Of course not. First off, Melo's agents will not let him take less money from the Knicks since he can make more money with them. Secondly, when has a player ever helped a GM get talent? "What about LeBron and D-Wade conspiring together? Didn't they do just that? Not to mention Wade, Bosh and LeBron all took less money." While that last statement is true it's a little different. LeBron and D-Wade make a gazillion dollars outside of the NBA. Bosh wanted out of Toronto so bad he took the maximum a free agent can get by signing with another team. Plus, people want to play with LeBron and D-Wade (probably more LeBron that Wade but whatever). Ray Allen took less money to play in Miami for example (though his "relationship" with Rajon Rondo may have been a huge factor as well).

Players would rather play with Kobe Bryant, despite the fact he shoots a lot and he's a jerk! Kobe would happily stab his grandmother in order to win and other players know that (he's on a Michael Jordan level with that point). Melo is a great scorer but he hasn't shown over time that he will do everything necessary in order to win. Like pounding the glass, passing or playing defense . Plus, NO ONE wants to play with Melo and Melo doesn't like to share the spotlight, just ask Jeremy Lin. The Knicks feel they can land Kevin love in 2015 but I don't see it happening. It's possible because Love appears to be a rather unselfish player who excels at rebounding but as miserable as he may be in Minnesota, the Knicks are not the answer. He can do better. Players and their reps know that the Knicks are a disaster and will stay away at all costs.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out and should be more interesting until Dwight Howard starts his free agent nonsense again in a few years. Thanks for your time.

Superhero Films and where they're going, part 1

2014 will feature several superhero/comic book films. The big titles are from Marvel Studios which will be releasing Captain America: The Winter Soldier in April, in May we get The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and X-Men: Days of Future Past and finally there will be Guardians of the Galaxy in August. Despite the huge success of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy and Man of Steel, Marvel Studios is kicking DC Entertainment's ass (a quick scan through wikipedia shows that their next feature appears to be the Batman vs. Superman in 2016). Understandably Marvel is will ride Iron Man, Thor, Spider-Man and the X-Men into the ground. Why not? Those properties have made boatloads of money worldwide. One of the things that make me scratch my head is the Guardians of the Galaxy film. I collected comics from around 1983-1992 and I consider myself knowledgable of what went on in that era but I am vaguely familiar with this group. The group first appeared in 1969 and was scene sporadically in different titles throughout the 70's. Then they got their own title in 1992 and ran until 1995. This is a fringe group at best (I do not remember seeing them in any of the X-Men titles I subscribed to nor the Fantastic Four) and they're getting their own film. Make no mistake, I will most likely see this but it's not a given as X-Men: Days of Future Past.

While I wonder about the following for the Guardians film (it may be huge for all I know but admittedly I'm outdated) one that really leaves me dumbfounded is Ant-Man. This has been on my mind for some time and after reading this article, I decided to spend a few minutes to relay my thoughts. Ant-Man first appeared in issue #27 of Tales to Astonish in 1962 and is a founding member of the Avengers. Ant-Man was the crime fighting alter-ego of biochemist Henry Pym and as you may have already guessed his "power" was mind control of ants and the ability to shrink down the the size of an ant. As Ant-Man, Pym faced many deadly foes but also had to watch out for people stepping on him and of course the things all dog fear the most...vacuum cleaners!

The look of horror on his face says it all.

That's right, this hero who got sucked into a vacuum cleaner in a story is getting his own film. Also, Ant-Man started out in 1962 and by 1964 Pym got rid of the Ant-Man duds to become Giant-Man (it was to impress a girl. Given). The next Avengers installment, the villain will be Ultron. 

In the Marvel Universe Ultron's creator is Hank Pym so I can see why they need to Pym into the story line but do we really need to have an Ant-Man film? That answer is no. Ant-Man wasn't popular enough to hold onto his own title and different people donned the helmet and none of them were able to gain a substantial foothold in the Marvel Universe. Ant-Man became a punchline in a SNL skit from over 30 years ago. Margot Kidder was the guest and the skit was a dinner party at Lois Lane's apartment. The guests include Superman/Clark Kent (played by Bill Murray), The Flash (Aykroyd), The Hulk (Belushi) and Ant-Man (Garret Morris). The Flash & Hulk get Ant-Man try to strike up a conversation with Ant-Man then make fun of him when he describes his "powers." The Hulu clip is unavailable but here's a screen cap...

L to R: Aykroyd, Morris and Belushi

With the upcoming Captain America: The Winter Soldier film, its rumored that the easter egg in the credits will feature the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. 

Quicksilver is the dude and the little girl is the Scarlet Witch. They both started out in Magneto's Brotherhood of Mutants back in 1963 but eventually saw the error of their ways and turned to fighting crime. Both became Avengers in issue #16 in 1965. Quicksilver is the speedster in the Marvel Universe (everyone's got to have a guy that can run really, really fast right?) and the Scarlet With is a witch...

The weird stuff emerging from her hand is a hint in case her name didn't give it away.

The point is that these are more minor characters in the Marvel Universe. Quicksilver (who was always portrayed as a bag of douche in my day) married into the Inhumans and Scarlett Witch married an android. Neither one ever had the popularity or depth to carry their own title. Hell, even the villain from Thor: Dark World wasn't a major player is the Asgardian world. When I saw the film I thought, "who the hell is Malekith?" It turns out he was a villain in a brief story arc during Walt Simonson's run on The Mighty Thor from 1983-1987.

He was in 10 issues between '84-'86 then didn't appear again until 1995. A major player obviously.

I also didn't know who in the hell the Collector (a Guardians of the Galaxy tie-in) was either when they had the post credit excerpt. I read a lot of comics in the 80's and went to a lot of comic conventions but I do not remember the Collector at all. Maybe all this will tie together nicely when the Avengers sequel comes out in 2015 but who knows. In the future the Fantastic Four are getting a reboot and there have been rumors about Doctor Strange (don't confuse him with Doctor Fate) getting a film but I have no idea how true that is. There was attempt to bring Dr. Strange to the small screen (back when Stan Lee was selling off the rights anyone with a wad of cash) in 1978 and it gave us this...

The effects were terrible but the budget was very low and the show tanked (as did the live action The Amazing Spider-Man series from the same era).

Is it really necessary to saturate the market? Dumb question, of course it is. Until there's a real bomb or a string of box offices failures they'll keep churning them out. The bottom will drop out of the genre (these things are cyclical) eventually but when has Hollywood ever put their foot on the brake when there is money to be made.

In part 2 I will go into what is going on in the DC Universe. They can't get anything outside of Batman to work right though Man of Steel was a good film. Thanks for your time.

The New York Knickerbockers

The New York Knickerbockers haven't been to the NBA Finals since the strike shortened 1998-99 season. Between the 2000-01 to the 2009-10 seasons, there were very irrelevant. That period is "highlighted" by a pair of 59 loss seasons (2005-06 under Larry Brown and 2007-08 under Isiah Thomas), a sexual harassment suit (thanks Isiah)!, the acquisition of Eddy Curry (Isiah again!) and general ineptitude. The lone "bright spot" if you will was backing into the playoffs during the 2003-04 season with a 39-43 record only to be swept in the 1st round by the Nets.

It's easy to delve into the heinousity of the Knicks during Isiah Thomas' tenure as a coach and executive but I'm going to hold back. Much like I'm going to hold back on my feelings towards Carmelo Anthony. The Knicks traded for Melo at the trade deadline of the 2010-11 season in a huge 3 team deal. During that year with the Nuggets, Melo made it known that he needed a trade to big market and would talk to anyone that listened about it. He even went so far as to pat himself on the back for his consistent play for the Nuggets during the distraction, which he caused! Talk about a self-absorbed jerk. During his time in Denver, the Nuggets posted four 50+ win seasons and made the playoffs every year from 2003-04 (Melo's rookie year) to 2009-10 (his final full season). The Nuggets did get as far as the Western Conference Finals in 2009 but all other seasons they exited in the 1st round. This was the guy the Knicks were going to hitch their wagon to.The Nuggets, by the way, made the playoffs after trading Melo and the next two seasons after that. Granted they were bounced in the 1st round, proving that little had changed after the trade.

To be fair, Melo has led the Knicks to the playoffs since his arrival. In 2011 the Knicks were swept by the Celtics in the 1st round. In 2012 the managed to stretch the Heat to a game 5 in the 1st round before going home for the summer. Last year was a different story, they dispatched an aging and depleted Celtic after letting them hang around for 6 games and then got beat the Pacers in 6 games in a hard fought series. After that success, the Knicks extended the contract of head coach Mike Woodson and had high expectations going into this year.

This year has been off to a bad start. The Knicks are 3-9 and look bad. Their only defender, Tyson Chandler is out with an injury, high priced power forward Amare Stoudemire is damaged goods and bow there's even talk that Coach Woodson is on the hot seat. Then out of nowhere Melo decides, "I want to be a free agent" when he can opt out of his contract after this season. This was the guy who whined about being in Denver and how he had to go to New York then 3 seasons later wants out? Even Charles Barkley took issue with Melo's statement. Now he did backtrack on those comments saying that he wants test free agency and stay in New York. If Melo wants to leave then he stands to lose tens of millions of dollars which I doubt he's going to do unless the Knicks pull a sign and trade.

Barkley and other NBA talking heads have said that Carmelo has to make free agents want to come to New York. Like the way guys go to play in Miami or with the Clippers. The problem is NO ONE wants to play with Melo. Melo needs the ball to be successful. In 161 games since being traded to New York, Melo has averaged 20.6 shot/game versus 3 assists/game. During  the strike season of 2011-12, while was nursing an injury, the Knicks were winning and in the hysteric grip of "Lin-Sanity" and Melo could not be more livid. He disliked the attention that Jeremy Lin got while the Knicks were winning without him in the line-up. The Knicks were fun to watch, they were up-tempo and exciting. Whereas with Melo, they are a plodding, dull offense. Check out this article for more information.

No top tiered free agent wants to come to New York and play with the Knicks. It's no secret owner James Dolan is a whack-job and Carmelo will run any person out of town who shares the spot light. Although, the Knicks seem to think that they can lure Kevin Love from Minnesota when he becomes a free agent in 2015, provided they re-sign Anthony. Now Love is said to be unhappy with the Timberwolves management but he plays with a young and exciting team. The polar opposite of the Knicks right now.

Presently both the Knicks and the Nets stink. Both clubs appear to be mismanaged (who thought Jason Kidd would be a good coach without no coaching experience what so ever?) and are quite frankly a league embarrassment. David Stern does not want to step down as commissioner with a laughingstock of a cornerstone market. The Nets could conceivably turn it around this year. The Knicks, not so much. Tyson Chandler is out and he's the only guy who plays defense. The offense is bad, the only thing keeping Anthony from jacking up 45 shots a game is JR Smith putting it up the moment he gets his hands on the ball. The Knicks can always tank in hopes of getting a high draft pick but that seldom works. Just go ask the Celtics when the put all their eggs in the Tim Duncan basket in the 1997 NBA Draft and wound of with Ron Mercer. Besides the Knicks hardly have a great draft history since they took Patrick Ewing with the number one pick in 1985 (there are those that feel that the 1985 draft was rigged). To be fair the Knicks did draft some solid players but Mark Jackson, Rod Strickland and David Lee had greater success after the Knicks kicked them to the curb.

Despite the fact that the Knicks are lousy, the Eastern Conference is just terrible enough where they could sneak into the playoffs, assuring themselves of a mid-level 1st round pick. So that may not help either (again the whole draft history of the team again). The Knickerbockers are going to be in for a long season and you can probably wager with a fair degree of certainty that Anthony will probably praise himself for doing all "he can" to try to win.

The Wolverine

Wolverine is one Marvel Comics most popular characters, he first appeared way back in 1974 in The Incredible Hulk 180-181 when he was dispatched by the Canadian Government to put an end to the Hulk and Wendigo's rampaging donnybrook.  By 1975 Wolverine joined the X-Men and the rest is history. As a comic book geek between 1981-1992, I first saw Wolverine in an issue Rom, Spaceknight (I was young and had no idea who the X-Men were. Did I go so far as to have a subscription to Rom? Guilty as charged. The X-Men had a guest appearance to increase sales and I thought the X-Men were wicked cool.), would eventually start following the X-Men religiously and like everyone else come to think Wolverine was the coolest character in comics.

In the comics Wolverine has gone through several retcons over the years and his origin has been expanded on as well. They've even done some ridiculous stuff to him as well over time. Suffice to say he's a bit different than I remember.But we're no here to dwell on the comics, it's about the latest Wolverine film. Now let's be honest 2009's X-Men Origins: Wolverine was lousy. I didn't know who some of the characters were and there were others who's appearance was much different than what I had grown up with (the Blob for instance). So they decided to go back to the drawing board after the success of X-Men First Class (which Wolverine had an uncredited cameo).

This film  takes place some time after the events of X-Men: The Last Stand. Logan has gone to a self imposed exile in the Yukon, living in a cave, venturing into town when he needs batteries for his radio or when he runs out of canned beans (there are no empty rolls of toilet paper which I found a little weird, must be a port-a-john out there). It's pretty clear he can't get over the death of  Jean Grey and he wants little to do with the human/mutant race (adding to his loner/brooder mystique that chicks dig). While in town to get batteries and dispense some old school frontier justice, Logan runs into Yukio, who's been looking for Logan in order to help absolve a life-debt for her boss Shingen Yashida (Logan and he have some history dating back t the Pacific Theater in WWII). Reluctantly Logan travels to Japan because he's not the type to make a big deal of things like this.

While meeting with the dying Yashida, Logan gets offered a chance at mortality (Logan's one of those types who looks at immortality as a curse) and he's a bit intrigued so he decides to stick around. Another reason is Yashida's uber-hot granddaughter Mariko (in the comics they're father-daughter) as you can see for yourself...

(whether it be comics or in films the silent brooding dudes with the hair hair & the pecs score the babes)

So Yashida dies and there's an attempted kidnapping of Mariko at the funeral that Logan helps foil by carving up a few yakuza. After a fight on top of a bullet train, he spirits Mariko to safety in a small village where she's got a place.

They get it on in case you were wondering

 

During the battle Logan finds that his wounds are taking longer to heal and it's really putting a drag on all the  fighting he does. Eventually the yakuza find their location and snatch up Mariko. Logan decides to go back to Yashida's lab to see if he can find out what happened. He links up with Yukio and finds out there's a nanobot near his heart that he's got to dig out the hard way. Logan & Yukio figure out where Mariko is being kept and they head over there, presumably because the film is at the 90 minute mark and the plot needs to speed up.

It's at Yashida's mountaintop factory (keeping in step with the theory that all villains have some sort of mountaintop lair) where it's revealed that Yashida , with the help of his "doctor" who's really Viper (now I vaguely remember this character from my days as a comic reader and she was more like the Baroness from GI Joe but what they heck, they gotta spruce her up right?), faked his death and is kept alive by the armor of the Silver Samurai. The armor is also made of adamantium and it comes with a super heated kitana (remember that in film, a kitana blade can slice through anything) blade that Yashida uses to cut Logan's claws off. Yashida is now drilling into the housing of Logan's claws and that somehow transfers Logan's healing factor into Yashida (not sure about the science on this considering that Logan's healing factor along with his boney claws are his mutation and you can't just drill out a guy's mutation) but Mariko is there to help save Logan and Yashida is eventually killed. After things start to return to normal, Logan decides that immortality isn't such a bad thing and decides to go back to the States, despite the fact that Mariko urges him to stick around (that's the thing with the quiet, brooding types wit the hair & the pecs, they're commitaphobes). There's a nice little "easter egg" during the credits that was nice.

The Wolverine has a running time of 126 minutes and it's about 10-12 minutes too long. Overall it was much better that Origins which made it pretty good but with room for improvement. The film's plot borrowed heavily from the 1982 limited series Wolverine

which I bought! Given.

 The imagery is all over the place which didn't bother me as I'd much rather have the writers stay as close to the source material as possible. The problems with the film I've mentioned earlier. Other problems are with the X-Men films themselves. The Origins film seems to change a few things from the X-Men Trilogy. For example, Logan helps rescue a young Scott Summers from Stryker and his gang but Scott never brings it up when they meet in the 1st movie (obviously they couldn't of but if I picked up on this then smarter people than me will have some issues). During that rescue, a teenage Emma Frost has a cameo but that conflicts with the fully grown Emma Frost from X-Men First Class that took place in 1963.

Teenage Emma

The mature Emma but several years earlier

So which timeline are we following? There are clearly some hiccups with the continuity and that bothers me a lot. Another example is that Professor Xavier explains in the first film that Magneto helped him create Cerebro but in First Class Hank Pym is its inventor. It boggles my mind how they pay attention to continuity in some spots but not in others. Of course it's entirely possible that I'm taking this a little too seriously. All in all this was an ok superhero film that was not as good as Iron Man but better than Captain America. Do Not  spend the extra money for the 3D , it's not worth it (I saw it in 3D because that was the time and I didn't think it was all that great). I could go on for awhile but this is getting to long. Thank you for your time.

DJ B-Clear's Summer Movie Preview - August

So the Summer is almost over and the 2 big Summer film weekends, 4th of July and Memorial Day are long gone. There's still Labor Day but that's the unofficial end of the season. The bigger blockbusters have come and gone (or fizzled). Here's where we should start to see the quality of films start to pick-up...allegedly.

August 2nd

• The Spectacular Now: High School rich kid pretty boy Miles Teller, leads a great life and and ends up meeting Shailene Woodley, after waking up from a drunken stupor on her front lawn. Woodley is a Diane Court-type whose not in Teller's clique at the local high school (stop me when you've heard this one before) because of their respective family's bank accounts. Teller then proceeds to woo Woodley in a Lloyd Dobler-esque manner but he's rich pals aren't thrilled with him dating in the non-trust fund crowd (kind of the basis of most of John Hughes' films). Despite all odds, true love prevails (allegedly) Teller and Woodley go to the prom. There's also a possibility that Woodley gives up her virginity to Teller as well.
• Europa Report: A group of astronauts go to explore Europa, 4th largest moon of Jupiter all in the name of science. Things start to go wrong and it doesn't look good. The trailer is well done as it sucked me in without giving to much away (though I'm hoping it's not something as unoriginal as a monster or something like that). This is already out on iTunes so it might be cheaper than viewing it at your local cineplex that has 12 screen devoted to whatever lifeless blockbuster is out there.
• Cockneys vs Zombies: Brick Top leads a group of Eastenders through zombie filled London in a Shaun of the Dead type zombie film. There's some laughs sprinkled out through here (there's a chase scene between a man w/his walker & a slow moving zombie) and the zombies don't seem overly terrifying.
• Drift: In a Point Break style mixture of surfing and crime drama, 3 studly surfers go into business making surfboards only to find out that one of is smuggling drugs inside the surfboards (they guy with a criminal past no less) in 1972 Australia. Lots of great surfing footage with dudes who look like Bodhi and his crew, because that's what all surfers look like right?

August 9th

• Elysium: Neill Blomkamp directs a sci-fi thriller set in 2154 where the wealthy live on a luxurious space station where there's no disease or want while the rest of us live on a decaying Earth with little to look forward to out of life. Matt Damon, contracts a disease or something and his only hope is to get to Elysium. Of course he's a lower class cog who's stuck on Earth and those who've tried to get to Elysium usually end up with their molecules re-arranged via laser canon. Enter Sharlto Copley, he's got a plan to get Damon into Elysium by grafting an exoskeleton to him but it won't be easy as Damon still has to fight his way onto Elysium. He's also going to bring a terminally ill little girl to save so it's not all about him. Success could change everything the likes of the evil Jodie Foster has worked so hard for, keeping the poor away from the wealthy. I liked District 9 a lot so this will be a must see for me.
• Planes: The newest Disney animated release, NOT Pixar, about a group of planes but it's not like Cars at all. There's a big airshow that the one plane wants to compete in but he's afraid of heights. Luckily Dane Cook lends his voice talents.
• We're The Millers: Ed Helms wants Jason Sudeikis to smuggle some drugs into the US from Mexico for a large sum which of course Sudeikis needs. So Sudeikis devises a whacky but can't miss plan where he hires people to pose as his "family" so they can smuggle to drugs out in an RV. His 1st choice is to hire a "wife/mother" and he offers the job to the stripper he frequents who turns out to be Jennifer Aniston (I guess she had fun as a the sultry evil dentist from Horrible Bosses so this seemed like a good follow-up). Sudeikis & Aniston lead the "Miller" Clan to Mexico and hilarity ensues (the virgin "son" constantly hits on Aniston & his "sister" as well as potentially racist bits with Mexican customs officials) which is what usually happens during a drug smuggling operation.
• I Give It a Year: A British film about Nat & Josh (Rose Byrne & Rafe Spall), a newlywed couple and their journey through marriage. Apparently the loved ones in their lives didn't feel the need to mention that they may not have been "right" for each other, hence the title. It all starts with the wedding cliches and gets worse. What's great is this is a comedy about a marriage that looks like its falling apart but in a funny way.
• Lovelace:The biopic of Linda Lovelace with Amanda Seyfried as the titular star. Directed by the duo of Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman (winners of an Academy Award for Best Documentary) bring together an all-star cast to tell the tale of the 70's porn legend. The trailer plays a bit like Boogie Nights with the highs and lows of the unforgiving porn industry. This looks interesting and might be worth watching.
• Prince Avalanche: Paul Rudd escapes this trials and tribulations of the big city in 1988 and trades it for some spartan country living. He gets a job painting lines on the highway with Emile Hirsch who's a little off to say the least. The trailer didn't give me much but it's a indie buddy movie comedy with late 80's fashion so there are going to be a few laughs.
• Blood: A gritty British cop film about a brutal murder and the lengths the investigating detectives (2 brothers portrayed by Paul Bettany and Stephen Graham) go to find justice. However things turn bad during an "interrogation" and they have to cover up their misdeeds that Mark Strong started investigating. The trailer looks dark and foreboding but the rating on Rotten Tomatoes wasn't that good.

August 16th

• Kick-Ass 2: Hit-Girl & Kick-Ass return as a vigilante crime fighting duo who've inspired a new wave of masked vigilantes. They team up with Colonel Stars and Stripes (Jim Carrey) and continue to do battle with The Red Mist, who's vowed revenge on the duo for the death of his crime lord father in the original film. I liked the original so I might just take this one in and quite frankly Chloe Grace Moretz is a very talented up and coming actor who's worth seeing. The interesting thing about this film was that Jim Carrey denounced the film's violence after the tragic Newtown shootings. Of course that didn't stop him from cashing the check he got from working in this picture.
• Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters: I never saw the original and I never read the books that the films were based on seeing how the appealed to a younger demographic. Percy and his pals are back battling mystical creatures and villains. If you thought the first one was cool then check out the sequel.
• 2 Guns: Suffice to say there is an all-star cast that makes up this film which is pretty much a remake of of the Lethal Weapon series. This time Riggs & Murtaugh 'Bobby' & 'Stig' (character name Mike Stigman, real original nickname) end up going after a stash of CIA cash that CIA naturally wants back. I can't believe someone of Denzell's stature would stoop to a "buddy cop" movie but here it is. Wahlberg, whom I like, is really good at playing the same guy over and over. The CIA villain (Bill Paxton) reminds me of Mr. Joshua. I will take a pass.
• Paranoia: Hunky stud Liam Hemsworth takes a job with a billionaire tycoon as a spy in the employ of his billionaire tycoon arch-nemesis (played by Gary Oldman & Harrison Ford respectively). So Hemsworth is caught in this elaborate scheme that he's got to figure his way out of. There's a lot of twists and turns but I'm willing to bet Hemsworth turns the tables on both Oldman and Ford in order to get a big payday and score the the uber-hottie.
• jOBS: Biopic about the life of Apple founder Steve Jobs. I'm sure Mr. Jobs led a very interesting life notable of a film but I have my doubts with Ashton Kutcher (the dumb guy from That 70's Show). Seeing how director Joshua Michael Stern is not named David Fincher, I doubt that this film will be as good as The Social Network. Plus there's the whole Ashton Kutcher thing.
• The Butler: Forest Whitaker plays a White House butler from the Kennedy through the Reagan administrations and he sees a lot of sh*t in a very Forrest Gump kind of way. The film is based on the life of Eugene Allen, who worked as a White House butler for 34 years. The film is directed by Lee Daniels, who has a short but formidable list of films to his credit who's work is worth viewing.
• Ain't Them Bodies Saints: Rooney Mara and Casey Affleck go on a crime spree where Affleck takes the blame for shooting a cop in the Texas hills (I've driven through Texas several times and I don't recall any hills) so that he can spare Mara a jail sentence. However, while in prison learns about the birth of his daughter and escapes to be with his true love.

August 21st

• The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: Thin, pretty white people with magical powers do battle with other thin, pretty white people. Some are good and some are evil and there's a brooding, hunky stud in there as well. Unbeknownst to Lily Collins, she comes from a long line of demon-slayers and her mom (Lena Headey) has disappeared. The aforementioned brooding hunky stud takes her under his wing and shows her the world that she belongs to and her responsibilities. I'm willing to be that she's got great power, uses it to save her mom, falls in love with the brooding hunky stud and manages to defeat the forces of evil, at least until the next installment. Adapted from Cassandra Clare's novels.

August 23rd

• The Frozen Ground: Based on the actual accounts of serial killer Robert Hansen. Vanessa Hudgens escapes from the clutches of John Cusack and is by the detective working the case (Nicolas Cage) used to help bring him to justice. Except that Hansen is a really good serial killer and outstanding member of the community whereas Hudgen's isn't the most savory character (it's that old stripper bias). Cage is dogged in his pursuit of Hansen and is desperate to see him locked up. Serial killers always make for a good film, this has all the makings of a decent film but Nick Cage as the hero and Cusack is a sadistic serial killer? I may have to wait for the buzz before I check this out.
• You're Next: All seems well for the Davison family as they get together in their family's secluded mansion in the woods. Secluded and woods = bad outcome. The group is apparently stalked by creepy mask wearing, axe wielding home invaders bent on killing the Davisons because they're in a secluded house in the woods and that's where creepy masking wearing, axe-wielding home invaders hang out. The secluded woods. The trailer looks creepy enough, it got a 91% on RT and a 6.7 on IMDB. The thing is, creepy home invasion films are like the scary films, there's a lot of them. Buyer beware.
• Drinking Buddies: Indie comedy about a woman (Olivia Wilde) who runs a brewery, has great friends (Jake Johnson and Anna Kendrick), drinks a lot of beer and dates Ron Livingston. Did I mention that the woman in question is Olivia Wild? Sounds like an ideal life right? Not so much. The relationship with Livingston doesn't work out when she realizes that she's got the hots for Johnson. It's probably predictable enough as you can see from the trailer they're close friends, very flirty and both very good looking. Why wouldn't they want to hook up? This film got a 69% on Rotten Tomatoes and a 6.1 out of 10 on IMDB. It's got beer as a major theme so what's not to like? It's currently available for rental on iTunes. It might be worth a try. I've been considering the iTunes rental theory myself.
• The Grandmaster: Renown Hong Kong Second Wave director Kar Wai Wong gives us the tale based on the life of Ip Man, legendary Wing Chun grandmaster of the 1930's. The trailer is pretty kick ass, its stars Tony Leung and Ziyi Zhang so what more do you need?
• Scenic Route: Josh Duhamel and Dan Fogler are old pals that have grown apart. Fogler decides he & Duhamel need some quality time so he "stages" a car breakdown in the middle of the desert except that the car really breaks down and they're stranded. Unsurprisingly bad things happen to the duo from there. Perhaps things would have been OK if they stayed on the highway or just had dinner in the city.

August 28th

• Closed Circuit: Eric Bana and Rebecca Hall are lawyers on a legal defense team for an accused terrorist that set off a bomb in a crowded London market. Very high profile. What appears to be an open & shut case has a few more loose ends than expected. Bana & Hall are put in danger as they try to find the truth. They're also ex-lovers. The trailer looed very interesting as this looks to be a taut suspense thriller. Should be worth a look.

August 30th

• Getaway: His wife kidnapped, Ethan Hawke must follow the instructions of a man that force him into a fast car and to pick up Selena Gomez. Hawke is a former race car driver and Gomez is a drifter or something (she was wearing a hoodie, that's my guess). This has been done before.
• Afternoon Delight: Kathryn Hahn and Ted Mosby seem to have an ideal marriage. Nice house, great kid and success. But it's all kind if a facade as the marriage is a bit on the loveless side. Apparently other couples in their circle of well to do white folks get together every now and then and hit a strip club. They get all hot and bothered then go home to make sweet love to each other like all the other bored suburban couples. So when Hahn gets her first ever lap dance from Juno Temple, she takes a bit of shine to her. Not in a sexual way (dammit!) but in a "I want to save you from this life" kind of way. Temple ends up moving in as the new "nanny," low and behold her presence starts to break down the barriers between Hahn and her husband. Lots of hijinks ensue when Temple reverts to her stripper ways when the neighbors come over and more laughs because Jane Lynch is Hahn's therapist. I'm not married nor in a loveless relationship so I can't really related to these people. I may not be the film's target demographic.
• Passion: Brian De Palma returns to the directors chair for this thriller starring Noomi Rapace and Rachel McAdams. McAdams is the boss and she gives her protege Rapace a hard time a la The Devil Wears Prada. After McAdams takes credit for a Rapace idea, she decides she's had enough and revenge gets plotted. Things escalate and murder ensues. This is a remake of the French film Love Crime. This film was made in Europe and released and 2012 but it's just now getting to US audiences. That's usually not a good sign.
• The Lifeguard: Former high school standout Kristen Bell is turning 30 and her life hasn't been what she expected (kind of like the rest of us). She quits her job in NYC and moves back in with her parents in Connecticut. There she decides to become a lifeguard at a local pool and gets romantically involved with a teenager (nothing like returning to your high school glory with some stat rape). This causes her friends and family to become surprisingly judgmental. Poor little privileged girl doesn't like the way her life turns out and she wants a do-over but doesn't want the burdens of responsibility.